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New Cruiseline for Children


Yes Gang, another fecious thread from me. You are free to groan.

Now I have just finished reading about a Christmas cruise to Hawaii where a huge extended family spread terror through out a whole ship. They had done this on the same Christmas cruise, same ship a year before. They had lots of money and booked every high end suite on the Princess Ship.

As told the Ship Security were powerless to handle the situation. The parents when confronted said " I am on vacation ". Passengers banded together on the first cruise and took a class action suit. All the giant chess pieces plus deck chairs were thrown overboard by the children.

They were an unruly mob that roamed the hallways, blocking stairs, disabling elevators, it goes on and on.Going up and down halls at all hours of the night, knocking on peoples doors.

So in light of the spitting incident on our NCL thread, I decided that maybe,just maybe the time had come for the Penal authorities of the World to step up with a new cruiseline.

Cruiseline for Bad children of ALL ages ( 1-100 )

Some of the features:

1. Lockdown "en suite " at midnight. Doors to release at eight in the morning.

2. All Furniture, draps, pictures, firmly attached with bolts to the cabin floor, wall, etc.

3. All hallways fitted with motion detector halogen lights.

4. Tables in dining room assigned by behavior profiles.

5. Crew members given mace and tranquilizer dart guns.

Ship activities:

Spitting contests at each other. Crew members to judge. Spit may be colored with dye to prove owners distance.

Tripping of others in Halls. Winner will receive their own hallway for the cruise.

Seminar " How to push and shove in lines ". Mainly select disabled or elderly as they fall over easier.

Seminar " Handling food in buffet lines and then depositing back on buffet. Bread and rolls are the best items to finger and return.

Seminar " How to swear in 15 language, complete with appropriate hand/finger gestures " Facial expressions are in Seminar II

Contest on upper deck to throw items overboard. Deck chairs, large chess pieces and each other if so inclined.

Seminar " How to Express that you paid for the cruise and can behave as you like ". This is a very important seminar for the lessons learned can be used at the pursers office, front desk, hotel manager and Senior Officers.

Dress Seminar " Rules are for everyone else ". Discussions wearing of "barely
there " clothing into the dining areas, etc. Wet bathing suits are chic in the buffet line. Baseball caps should be worn day and night in all venues.

Hot Tub/ Swiming Pool Forum.... Children should not be supervised. There is no such thing as an "Adults Only Pool or a Quiet Area ". Diapers are fashionable in the pool and hot tubs, especially if they are dirty.

Seminar " Food fights are fun ". Food was meant to be throw not consumed.
Mashed potatoes, jello, custard are all explosive. Apples, oranges can may excellent missiles.

Upon leaving the ship, each surviving passenger will receive an engraved baseball bat. Be sure to bring the bat on your next cruise for additional engraving should you again survive the cruise.

Please feel free to add your own activites, etc. for this new line. There probably is an untapped market for it or at least as a "reality show ".


Now that sounds like a fun cruise line.:D But dont forget these activities:

Seminar: How to construct a sentance with as many swear words as possible.

Seminar: How to avoid being banned from cruise lines. (these people must be experts at this if it happened twice)

Seminar: 101 ways to upset fellow passengers.

On the whole I think I will stick with Cunard though


Yes, Lancashirelad, et al:D

Definitely, a FUN CRUISE line. But, forget "sentence construction", ...on listening to Middle School kids walking home from my ex (yippee)-office, often wondered if they KNEW any words that didn't start "fu.."

Seriously, though cannot IMAGINE how the group on Princess got away with this.

Following is passage from NCL ticket purchase agreement,....think they are all pretty standard.....and YES, they still do have brigs, i.e. "detention facilities" on cruise ships.

"11. Carrier reserves the right, without incurring liability of any kind, to refuse or revoke passage to, or confine to a stateroom, any passenger who in Carrier’s sole judgment may be refused admission into a port of landing or into the country of destination, or may be suffering from a contagious disease, or for any other cause may endanger themselves or others, or become obnoxious to others. Any passenger who is refused passage or otherwise denied any advertised benefit or service under this paragraph shall not be entitled to receive any compensation whatsoever and shall become liable for any resulting expenses incurred by the Carrier."

Contract also gives Carrier the right to disembark said obnoxious passengers. Now, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, this might be a wee bit extreme, although I am sure lots of the other passengers would have been HIGHLY appreciative, as would have prevented the "little dears" from attempting to set fire to the ship while in detention. PARENTS, of COURSE, should be the FIRST ONES in detention!!!


Cruise Lines should build up an international "Trouble maker" database, as soon as that family's name and address is input, all bells start ringing, or better still they should be reported to their countries immigration authorities and their passports withdrawn. :pray: :pray:


Unfortunately in this case MONEY was allowed to do all the talking.

On the first cruise the class lawsuit ended in Youth security guards being put on board. Believe they said they were wearing yellow shirts.

They proved to be useless as all they could do was "talk " to the children and parents ? They did complain that the children were swearing at them.

The parents were seen throwing THOUSANDS of dollars ( or whatever for they were from a Latin American country ) around the Casino tables.

So they were allowed to cruise again this last December.

The Crew members ran in terror from them and I am sure were pleased when they boarded the second year.

I am not so naive as to think that money cannot rule but one would think that the sheer number of other passengers should out weigh the "knuckle draggers " that held the ship hostage.

Anyone on the board with fond memories of a Holiday cruise. They are tempting but I keep hearing freaky stories .