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Joke of the Day!

Ocean Angel

Deckhand
A blonde guy had a major argument with his girlfriend. After
storming away, and then cooling off, he had time to think. He was
clearly in the wrong and felt pretty guilty about all the trauma
he had caused. So to make it up to his girlfriend, he decided to
buy her a gift.

"Anything at all, my love," he said, overcome with remorse.

"Oh, I don't know," replied his sweetheart, excited at the idea
of a gift but still wanting to get back at him "You really
shouldn't do this you know. But, if you insist, just get me
something very expensive, that I don't really need."

The following day he booked her in for chemotherapy.
 

gottabecruisin

Deckhand
So last night Karyn googles her own last name, lol
Her only findings about herself are ASK the BOHUNK on another forum..

She cannot understand that of all the things she has done in her life, gone to combat, given birth, 3 hot chicks tour, mid west BBQ and this is all she is known for on Google ?

LMAO !!!
 

Ricksta

Deckhand
Why Parents Get Gray Hair

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the
bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It
was addressed, "Dad"
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I
knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos,
her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am
but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we
are goingto be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack
of firewood, enough for the whole winte r. We share a dream of having
many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the
other
people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the
meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get
better;
she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know
how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so
you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, Chad
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card that's in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
 

Ocean Angel

Deckhand
Cat In Heaven
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that he made the cat.

The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,

'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'

The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!'
 

Ocean Angel

Deckhand
A Canadian lumber camp advertises for a lumberjack. A skinny
little guy shows up at the camp the next day carrying an axe.

The head lumberjack takes one look at the puny little guy and
tells him to get lost.

"Give me a chance to show you what I can do," says the skinny
guy.

"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" says the head
lumberjack. "Take your axe and cut it down."

The guy heads for the tree, and in five minutes he's knocking on
the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," says the guy.

The lumberjack can't believe his eyes and says, "Where did you
learn to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," says the puny man.

"You mean the Sahara Desert," says the lumberjack.

"Sure......That's what they call it now!"
 
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