• Hello visitor!

    We are happy to see you have stopped by and hope you will consider registering with our community. Whether you have a question related to an upcoming cruise or just want to meet other fellow cruisers, you are always welcome!

    Hope to see you on the forums soon!

Joke of the Day!

Ricksta

Deckhand
~~Calypso/Troublemakers Cruisers Fun House~~

Here is where we can share a good laugh with one another! Just try to keep it clean :rolleyes: :laughalot:
FUNHOUSE%20TRANSLITE.jpg
 

Ricksta

Deckhand
A blonde, a brunette and a readhead are stuck on an island. For years and years they live there, until one day they find a magic lamp. They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life-- I just want to go home" ... POOF she is gone.

The the red head makes her wish "This place sucks, I want to go home too" ... POOF she is gone.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie says to her "My dear what is the matter, "I wish my friends were here" ... POOF!!!
 

gottabecruisin

Deckhand
Women's Bum Size Study


There is a new study about women and how they feel about their bums. I thought the results were very interesting.

85% of women think their bum is too fat.

10% of women think their bum is too skinny.






The other 5% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway.
 

Ricksta

Deckhand
Two Canadian ships were sailing across the Atlantic, one Canadian ship was carrying red paint, the other Canadian ship was carrying blue paint.
The ships collide and the crews are lost except for one Canadian sailor from each ship. The two sailors are marooned on a life boat.
After three days, the sailors are very thirsty and have nothing to drink.
After another day, a bottle floats along side the life boat, the Canadian sailor opens the bottle and a Genie magically appears.
The Genie says, "I’m a magic Genie, but I’m only giving you one wish because you opened the bottle without rubbing it first"
The first Canadian says, "I wish the ocean blue here was LaBatt Blue beer."
Suddenly the entire ocean is beer.
The second Canadian says, "Oh great, now we have to pee in the boat. eh" :laughalot: :laughalot:
 

gottabecruisin

Deckhand
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.


2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.


3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.


6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.


7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the

screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.


10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.


11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
: )


12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.


13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list


AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
 

Chucksta63

Deckhand
Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving
and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother
and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call
your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone "Like
heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She
calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting
divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother
back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU
HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay" he sa ys,
"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
 

Ricksta

Deckhand
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."
 

Ocean Angel

Deckhand
That Darn Cat

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We
turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our
pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab
company and requested a taxi.

The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The
cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want
the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The
cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife
doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the
night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon,
"He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I
said, as we drove away. "That stupid b***h was hiding under the bed.
Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to
take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a
blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her
fat a$$ downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car...
 

Ocean Angel

Deckhand
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big
deep hole.

"Wow...that looks deep."

"Sure does, toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise

"Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great
big rocks down there. Those should make a noise."

They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the
hole and wait... and wait. Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look
on his face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a
railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT
sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise."

The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not
a sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like
the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them,
running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in
the air and into the hole.

The two men are astonished with what they've just seen... Then,
out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles
over.

"Hey... you two guys seen my goat out here?"

"You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like
crazy and just jumped into this hole!"

"Nah", says the farmer, "That couldn't have been MY goat. My goat
was chained to a railroad tie."
 

Ocean Angel

Deckhand
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed
to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while
incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So,
what did you bring?"

The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he
intended to paint everything he could. He wanted to become the
"Grandma Moses of Jail". Then he asked the first, "What did you
bring?"

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and
said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any
number of games."

The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself.
The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What
did you bring?"

The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I
brought these."

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with
those?"

He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to
the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating..."
 
Top